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Tips for Motorists - Blogman style.
Welcome to my new section devoted to motoring. Now you may wonder what blogging and motoring have in common. Well, I can tell you - an awful lot!
Observe!
Taxis
Would all taxi drivers please note the following:-
- The highway code applies to all road users, including you.
- The use of indicators before a turn or stop would be useful
- The use of indicators at all would be useful
- The double yellow lines on roads mean no parking - for everybody.
- Double parking on side streets to pick up/drop off a fare is selfish, as it blocks the road for other users.
- Give Way signs apply equally to taxis
- We may get drunk but we know a high fare drunk or sober
- Putting up "No Smoking" signs in your cab for passengers and smoking yourself in the same cab is a little strange.
- Tips are a reward for a useful service tips and are not compulsory
Boy Racers
Would all Boy Racers please note the following:-
- The first 6 points above apply to you too.
- That exhaust you bought to impress your mates may sound good to you but to most people sounds like an Elephant farting at 100 yards.
- Despite your lowered suspension, wide wheels and fat tyres, your stopping distances remain largely unchanged. This means that you will hit the car in front if they have to stop quickly and you are your customary 2 feet from the back bumper.
- Driving with fog lights on when it is not foggy not only makes you look a pratt, it is also illegal.
- Wearing a baseball hat whilst driving at all times is compulsory. (still makes you look a dick though.)
- There are other places to hang out aside of the local drive through MacDonalds.
- Blue lights on bonnets/bumpers/underneath, etc, look crap. End of story.
- Do you really think that rear spoiler on your hatchback will make any difference (other than making your car look crap?)
- It is possible to drive your car with the engine running at less than 5,000 revs.
Motorway Drivers
Would all Motorway drivers please note the following:-
- The first 6 points in the "Taxi" section above apply to you too.
- Most modern motorways have 3 lanes. You are permitted to use all of these, especially the left and middle lanes which seem especially unpopular.
- The Highway Code only permits overtaking on the right of a vehicle in front not on the left.
- Indicators do work on high speed motorway networks, especially when moving between lanes.
- Despite there being fewer potential incidents to slow down or stop for, stopping distances are greater on motorways than slower single carriage roads. That means drop back from the car in front.
- Leaving a large gap between you and the car in front helps avoid accidents in the event of a sudden stop by the vehicle in front.(as well as providing the idiot who overtakes on the left a space to pull back into)
- The motorway is a means to travel between places. It is not a racetrack.
- Surprisingly, if you indicate left and gently steer left out of the outside lane, you will arrive in the empty (usually) middle lane, thus letting faster traffic to pass by.
- It is a myth that there is a prize for the longest time spent in the outside lane.
- There are three lanes (usually), known as - inside, middle, outside - NOT slow medium and fast lanes.
- White vans travel much quicker than most cars.
- Trucks are permitted to pull out just before they signal to do so, irrespective of the road position of any traffic passing.
- It is not compulsory but seems to be amusing to some, to overtake and then pull in front of the recently passed vehicle and slow to a speed less than the overtaken car, thus forcing them to re-overtake or drive very close to the bumper of the car which has overtaken.
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